The dichotomy of Decision making.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The sling and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And by opposing end them.

                 - Shakespeare (in Hamlet)"

         In an unconscious way, choices we make today determine our decisions tomorrow. What we fail to realize at times is before we take a decision, its long been decided at the sub conscious level when our persual of the objective is intense and all pervasive. A lot of our perceptions and attitudes get aligned towards the decision we are headed to. Life just takes us to the point when that is the only choice preferred.

        Not always are we as lucky. Most of the times we fail to negotiate what is the objective we yearn to pursue. That is when the dichotomy of decision making presents itself to us in all its grandeur of confusion!! Its not easy to discover what is the purpose of a persual in the early stages. Sometimes, only when the pursuit is near completion do we exactly realize the purpose. Maybe thats the way of life.

    Decision making is like the problem of optimization theory. Any student of mathematical optimization might appreciate the beauty of the analogy. In any method of constrained optimization, its the technical constraints and sign restrictions that determine the feasibility and optimality of the solution in connection with the objective function. All issues of decision making boil down to this. The feasible solutions are found with considerable ease. But its the test of optimality that posses the biggest challenge. In arriving at a decision, though feasible options are presented after a few sessions of introspection and brain storming, its the challenge to pick the optimal one and tailor it to suit our needs that is a test of character. The time when decision making gets gritty and gruesome.

      Priorities have to be weighed. Relationships, Career advancements, Opportunities, Scope for pursual of interests - My god! the list of constraints to be adhered itself turns to be an overhead at times. Sometimes we may wish to break away from all the constraints and just fly free. But this overhead is what adds beauty to the process of decision making. Once an optimal solution is arrived at after due considerations to individual specific constraints, there is a relaxing satisfaction. (I agree, it does not stay long in our transient world;-). But still for the moment, a soothing relaxation does exist.)

       Too much of analysis spoils the beauty of anything and everything. The devil is in the details. Once we arrive at a decision, it is better we do not go back frequently to reasses its worth. Suggestions and advices, the most freely available drugs in the market, when do not take into account our position and percetions push us to the peak of pessimism. A lot of criticism is always in stock, for the cynics have nothing better to offer! Though constructive criticism is welcome, sometimes its the freedom to explore, falter, rediscover and learn that adds life to the process. All decisions ultimately help us learn and to learn is to live.

       The world is never seen identically by any two pairs of eyes. So its not alwas necessary that our decisions are agreed and appreciated by our fellow beings. Its our conviction to stand by the decision we take that defines the consequences of it. None of us are inherently perfect. All our decisions can be dynamic. We might realize its non feasibility and modify it to suit our needs but only owing to self realization would be better rather than owing to persual or pressure.

     When a good friend said - "the arrival at a decision limits the choice of freedom", I got into introspection only to infer that decisions are not always necessary. Maybe we tend to over decide;-) Though taken, they need not be all pervasive. Its true that when we pick one end of a stick we pick up the other end too. But do we take it for granted that we should never place the stick back?? If the stick is either too lengthy or heavy or not long enogh, I would prefer to place it back and try find a better one that suits me!!

Images..

These are images. Those are images.
Here are they and there too.
Within us are filled these images
Without them we woo.
Do they mean something? Or should they?
Their description lies in our perception.
To some are they illusions.
To others a part of existence.
Unable to sense a difference.
Masking identities, seeking accomplishments -
Get blurred these images.
Truly unabated, if is the spirit of exploration
How come all over are reservations?
Time tolls in pursuit - Clearer our images.

Strolling with a friend..

Dear friend.,
      This is a leisurely letter to you. Like taking a stroll in a garden during a moist morning, just walk through this by my side. As I write to you my thoughts about friendship, the feeling of your presence soothes my soul. Friendship, to me, is not a choice though most of them claim it to be. I did not choose you as my friend. It just happens through the twist of time. Sometimes owing to our luck, we just meet the right person at the right time and a chord of intimacy strikes. You can call it coincidence or destiny. I would prefer the term 'Metaphysics', well the essence remains the same, whatever we choose to call it.

        Man is a social animal and to boost his social identity he needs companionship. Thats one of the reasons we all have a family. The extended family in our society is what becomes our friends circle. Well, even in the family, there is a lot of friendship. In the affection that Mom showers, in the naughtiness of the bro who pulls your leg, in the elegance of the elder sister who defends all your actions - isn't there a bit of friendship?

"Probably no man ever had a friend he did not dislike a little."

                                                           - Ed Howe

        As many friends we have, so many different set of attitudes and opinions. No two friends always end up agreeing on all issues they discuss. So are we. There is a beauty in disagreement. Don't you agree? With every mistake of mine, you too learn along with me. So is the case when you commit a mistake. When either of us makes a grave mistake, takes a wrong decision, breaks up in haste, I pray the other to standby, take it all in grace and let the moment just pass by. We shall need one another the very next moment. Let us put behind the rightness and wrongness of the bygone issues and stand for one another. It doesn't mean to defend each other's mistakes, but I pray we stay by each other in the process of correcting those mistakes, in the process of suffering its consequences. You need not take any responsibility of my life, neither do I of yours. But we shall lend to ourselves a shoulder to lean on in times of despair.

       You have a good day at office, read something interesting, watched a nice movie, had a spat with your loved one, want to share the joy, call me up. I too shall do the same when I have something to share. Let us not limit it to joy. I shall rely on you to be my emotional shock absorber, during times of distress and outbursts. You too are free to use me as your shock absorber. But let us not forget to never evade the limits. Everything of this shall be optional my friend, "no strings attached!!";-) Yeah, it happens at times when one of us overlooks the other's concerns, we are friends and have all the right to state it straight forward on the event of such an overlook. Let us not hesitate in conveying things, which if left without communicating may lead to irritation.

     There might be times when some sensibilities can't be told. I do believe both of us are mature enough to understand the untold sensibilities. If any of us fail to, the other is generous enough to pardon the dumbness of the other. Yet, let this not be an excuse between us.

        And the most important thing as I see it, we shall have differences. My approach to life and your approach to life can never be identical at all stages. Let us agree to disagree with due respects. We shall keep ourselves open to constructive reflections but let us refrain from being each others judge. Let there be discussions, never leading to arguments. I pray this friendship of ours shall always stand on the right and freedom to voice opinions, avoid undue criticism.

       Of course, all good things must come to an end. So shall our friendship. The end might be when either of us switches professions, moves out of town, gets into a relationship, flies abroad, ceases to exist or whatever.  Lets face it with dignity. If there arises a feeling of rekindling the relationship, and both of us are open to it, then let us bury the past and get along as long as it flows.

     Before I end the letter, here are lines that aptly describe what we have been cherishing-

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, 

nor do you withhold the "ay".

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence,

as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery 

is not love but a net cast forth:

and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

          - Khalil Gibran.

        You feel all this is too very vague, idealistic and impractical? My friend, dreams are always like that and our lives have always been the pursuit of dreams.

 With love.,

Your friend.

   

The hidden river

In the crust of the earth, unseen and unheard -
Flows the hidden river -
She is in the moist running through soil.
In the soul of man, unperturbed and unperceived -
Flows the hidden river - 
She is in thoughts meandering through conscience.
No complaints, she is not in the troubled waters.
Nor does she have a destination to reach in time.
Hers is a journey never anticipating an end,
She is in ecstasy, hers is a mindless flow.
Defying all logics and reasons, she stays hidden.
Futile are attempts to give her an identity,
She ceases to be the identified, Renewing ever
Flows the hidden river!