Showing posts with label Musing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Musing. Show all posts

Dec 28, 2020

Ramblings of an Outcast

Painting by Sir Peter Paul Rubens
Picture credit: http://www.abcgallery.com/R/rubens/rubens106.html

जो भी मैं कहना चाहूँ
बरबाद करे, अलफ़ाज़ मेरे!
(Whatever I wish to say,
By my words, destroyed are they!)
                        - Irshaad Kamil(In the soul-stirring lyrics
                      for the movie 'Rockstar')


If at all you look at me,
Then look at me, as I am;
And not as I could have been
Or as you had wished me to be.

I am now, only what I am.
Neither what I once was.
Nor what I once maybe.
If I have changed, then so have I.
Changed when felt a need to.
What is wrong, if to me I heed to?

Spare the prejudices and preoccupations.
Dodge thy taught perception and comparison.
Deep in my eyes, don't you see your reflection?
I too am like you.
Haunted by guilt, Burdened by desires
            And driven by dreams.
Frustrated in pursuits, lost in victories
            And won in defeats.
In true love, only with myself.

Confess in solitude; Conceal in multitude.
Perfected by the imperfections of my attitude.
Flawed, the way we all are, but not faked.
Baked, the way life roasts us all, not exempted.
Is not this you?
Or is it still only me?

Well, I derive a unique pleasure
Common to the outcast genre!
Pleasure in the pride

Of dancing to my own tunes and rhymes!
Unfettered by the truth or vanity of these dreams,
I live, in ecstasy - as if flowing through life's streams.

When death knocks my door
I wish I die a mad dog's death.
One I have dreamed and craved often for.
As I lay in my death -
If at all you look at me,
Then look at me, as I am;
And not as I could have been
Or as you had wished me to be.

Mar 8, 2017

Wish of Women's Day!



PC: http://gallerianews.com/uxx/2014/11/woman-in-shadow-pun.jpg


(On a day of wishes, I hate to be realistic. Wishes are largely Utopian and they compel us to introspect the reality. I am trying to look from a women's perspective below. No offence intended.)

       Dear father, before you wish me a Happy Women's Day and start boasting of how intelligent your grand daughter is with your acquaintances, why don't you accept me for what I am? I am a housewife who was married off in grandeur to suit your status unlike my brother who studied to be a doctor. And now that I enjoy the chores of being a housewife, do not let your modern liberal views look down on me.

      Dear husband, before you wish me a Happy Women's Day and get on your wishing spree on social media, why don't you help yourself to serve the breakfast which is all laid out on the table? Doesn't the irony cause any guilt in you that while you pose as a modern liberal accommodative of feminist views on Facebook at the dining table, I am asked to serve food in your plate? Small gestures of sharing the burden of our home could bring me a better cheer than your wish.

     Dear daughter, before you wish me a Happy Women's Day and drown yourself in celebration, why don't you pause and savour the womanhood in my company too for a couple of minutes? Why are all your intellectual ideas only for the crowds that clap and elite friends who admire? Is your concern and love only for victims of domestic violence and rape? What of women like me raped by subtle unconscious indifference? My freedom of choice governed by the interests of my family which at times are invisibly dictated to me.

Apr 14, 2015

Gift of democracy!

   
Whom to curse as I am made to wait?? (PC: Myself)
  
"The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting." - Charles Bukowski

     The citizen looked blank because he knew not whom to curse. He was waiting for change and reform since the day they were promised to him.  When he explained his predicament, I too was perplexed and shared his confusion. If it was an autocracy or an anarchy or something of that sort, we could have cursed someone specific. But damn it, this was democracy!!
     He clearly knew he was a citizen, a part of the public; he had to find a public servant in a public office to attend to his problems. Irrespective of being part of a major or minor socio-religious group from which he derived a sense of identity, his existence as an individual citizen had bestowed on him the right to demand for the redressal of his grievances.
    But all that the much hyped and promised democracy offered was a government with its ministers and officers. The guarded government spaces, the rigid bureaucratic structures and the erudite officer elite who manned them! Among these government officers where were the public servants the citizen had to approach? Whom was he to fight with for justice? Whom was he to curse for his plight? Had the public sphere vanished into thin air as the reach and spread of the government had widened by leaps and bounds?
        Has it always been a struggle for the survival of the 'public' at the mercy of the 'government'? Or is it the modern 'gift of democracy'!?

Oct 22, 2014

Spade call!!


Original Picture: Paul Reynolds (Flickr: Reflection) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
When a spade calls a spade a spade, does it realize it can possibly be staring into the mirror?

Oct 20, 2014

A daughter in confusion.


Picture Credit: http://wp.production.patheos.com/
Mom,
      I write this to you in a state of confusion. You have always been my never failing support system - always there for me. Especially after Dad expired, you have been both Mom and Dad to me.
      Now that I am 25 and as most Indian moms in this situation, you are busy looking at marriage alliances for me. But a thought haunts me deep down in my heart. Despite the optimism you have imbibed in me, I am cynical in this matter.
     I know most of the alliances you have looked till now have rejected us because in most cases either I am more qualified than the guy or I am professionally better placed than him. Despite all the claims of modernity of our society, we still expect the wife to be inferior to the husband in certain parameters as such. To generalize one profession to be better than another totally unrelated profession is at best ignorance. How fair to compare a doctor and a teacher and conclude all doctors are professionally better placed than teachers? Or is it actually true in a society which values professions on subjective perspectives and social opinions?
      Well, though that does trouble me, it is not the cause of the trauma that I undergo. These perspectives I hope will gradually change with the society realizing that qualifications and professions are not true measures to assess a person. Well for that matter, nothing is a precise measure to assess a person!
      The larger contradiction that haunts me is why is that only a girl has to worry about leaving behind her family and going to her husband's place? Do boys ever undergo the trauma of this thought whenever the issue of their marriage is raised? To say this is how it works in a patrilineal society is no cure to the agony of my heart.
       Every time you talk of my marriage, it haunts within me that I have to leave you - my mom, the house I grew up in - my home.... Can't I get married and yet stay back with you? Or still better, can't two entire families, as the circumstance be, come together in a marriage instead of two individuals coming together and only one of them sacrificing a lot? I agree such things do happen today, but only if the guy and the family are considerate enough. But how do we girls know if they are considerate enough? Talk to them, ask them, put your point across, communicate... Hahaha!!!
      Mom, will there ever be a day when girls like me staring into the entanglement of uncertainty will be spared of the trauma of the thought of leaving behind their families just because a decision made them part of another family? A decision that very subtly deprives girls of a lot of what is inexplicable.
Or Mom, am I just being a frustrated girl whose marriage has not happened yet and who unnecessarily thinks too much?

Yours loving,
A daughter in confusion.

Jul 1, 2014

25, who am I?

PC: Myself

       I remember talking to her three years ago. She had just finished her graduation in Engineering. She was my junior by a year at the college. She spoke of her plans for the future, her dreams, her ambitions. An engineer who wished to design a sustainable world, an artist who aspired to voice the voiceless through the medium of her art.
       Now when this lady claims she is the same girl, I am actually perplexed. That girl who debated with such fervor and passion for simple and frugal lifestyle is this lady who on a casual evening outing is dressed up like a burdened Indian bride on procession!? While she speaks with animated excitement of her husband's car, care and concern, I wonder where the girl, who aspired for an identity of her own, is lost. During the college days, I remember how enthusiastic and assertive she was. Eager to know, eager to understand. Has the genesis of the lady in her, killed that girl who she once was? The girl who dared to dream, who dared to question, who dared to experiment, who dared to explore avenues and opportunities.
      I have no complaints about the lady she is. It is her life, her tastes, her choices. I respect all of that. My only worry is the girl she once was. Where did that girl vanish? In which dark corner of her psyche did she bury her, if she did so? And every time she talks about her present life, why is she displaying a sense of abundance? Is she unconsciously trying to convey that the loss of her dreams is compensated by the gain of material abundance? She was an engineer, bright enough to know that the increase in y doesn't necessarily balance out the decrease in x, because they are not always part of the same equation!
     Maybe I am reading too much into the situation. Maybe it is all the pessimism within me; problem with my own preoccupied world view. I don't know the complete picture. I am probably jumping to conclusions despite lack of awareness. It is perfectly possible that her new found marital bliss and prosperity will eventually aid her dreams. Or better, maybe she can redesign her dreams. Who knows? What doesn't evolve, gets eliminated.
        But still, she was probably 23 last year, when she got married. 24 this year, about to be a mother. With due respects to the institution of marriage and the sanctity of motherhood, I can't stop wondering what would she answer herself if next year she happens to introspect - "25. Who am I?" I pray the answer this lady finds will not disappoint the girl she once was.

Apr 16, 2014

Blind or Crazy?

 
Street art in Berlin (Pic Credit: http://www.irishberliner.com/2010/04/street-art-berlin.html)

"In a world that would offer me only two choices - either being blind or going crazy, I would prefer to go crazy."

Aug 11, 2013

Sometimes...

Picture Credit: http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1239/5120822354_cea72a07d4_z.jpg

Sometimes, I savour the serenity of solitude. 
Sometimes, I lament the lackluster loneliness. 

Sometimes, I cry in the dark - all alone, engulfed by fear.
Sometimes, I find solace only deep within the darkness. 

Sometimes, I feel I was terribly betrayed 
                             - my love never reciprocated.
Sometimes, I understand I was the one 
                             who betrayed many innocent hearts.

Sometimes, I think I have been wronged 
                            - the world has been very unkind.
Sometimes I realise I am over sympathetic 
                             to myself and harsh to mankind.

Sometimes, I break promises I made to 
                            my most loved ones and to myself.
Sometimes, I keep promises to them, 
                           whom I once considered insignificant.

Sometimes, I dance to the melody of a 
                           non existent rhythm in the noise.
Sometimes, I complain of a pseudo noise 
                           in a flawless random rendition.

Sometimes, I push myself in to that which,
                I have over the years avoided to venture into. 
Sometimes, I toil to pull myself out of that into which, 
                I once very enthusiastically plunged. 

Sometimes, I pursue that which,
                  for years I have consciously avoided. 
Sometimes, despite having arrived at the destination 
                 I passionately pursued for long, 
                I choose to walk into the wilderness of uncertainty.

Sometimes, I wonder if it is all a dream. 
Sometimes, I am reminded it is all a life.

Apr 23, 2013

An epic verse never completed!

          The breathtakingly conceived mammoth structure, simply left abandoned was like an extraordinary piece of an epic verse composed with soul stirring passion but never neared completion. Incomplete compositions have an aura of their own because whatever is completed is comprehensible but what is incomplete throws up infinite possibilities and it is uncertainty that is characteristic of the universe of creativity. The courage to dream of constructing something that would stretch to the skies and dwarf everything that was built till then is an astounding indication of the confidence and ambition of the man who dared to dream so. Like the raw beauty who does not dazzle with decoration but instead haunts with her intense looks, the "Alai Minar" continues to haunt me.
'Alai Minar': The haunting raw beauty in the sunset
           The incomplete rubble which is 24.5m high is only the core of the first floor, whereas the completed Qutb Minar is five-storied at a height of 72.5m. The diameter of the base is double that of the Qutb Minar and the Alai Minar was planned to be twice as high as the Qutb!! To stand in front of it and to imagine the completed structure in place of what actually exists would be a challenge to the ability of how far we can comprehend gigantic imaginations. What miracle had its creator Ala-ud-din Khilji envisioned! That it is located within the same complex as the Qutb Minar at simply a sneezing distance from it, gives us a relative picture of what an epic it could have been if completed. Very reminiscent of the Ghaliban phrase "yun hota to kya hota?"
         Consolidating the supremacy of the Delhi sultanate over larger parts of North India and extending into the Deccan plateau, Ala-ud-din Khilji left an indelible mark in Indian history. One of the few rulers in the world to have repeatedly defended against the invasions of the Mongol Empire, Khilji is painted in history as brave, ambitious and courageous. Literature has embraced the episode of Chitoor and the legend of Padmavati, where more or less Khilji is a personification of desire and lust. Beyond the descriptions of history and literature, the man has left for posterity his architectural signature, the sheer scale of which is Herculean. An undisputed emperor once, he now lies dead in his tomb, whose roof has fallen long ago. And the tomb is no grandeur but another incomplete structure whose walls are left undecorated, never finished as if left to the mercy of time.
Ala-ud-din Khilji's tomb
          Rabindranath Tagore in his poem on Shah Jahan and the Taj Mahal, says 
"You knew, Emperor of India, Shah-Jahan,
That life, youth, wealth, renown
Float away down the stream of time.
Your only dream
Was to preserve forever your heart's pain."
But what was it that Khilji was working towards preserving? About five hundred years prior to Shah Jahan, did Khilji actually realise 'That life, youth, wealth, renown Float away down the stream of time'? The 'Alai-Minar' was supposedly his symbol of victory over the Deccan. What irony that the symbol which had to stand for the victory of the emperor stands today as a reminder of the changing times, the changing fortunes and the grand refusal of time to freeze at the foot of any mortal however strong.
           Frequently quoted as an example for the failure of over ambition, the Alai Minar incites various emotions. The inner core devoid of ornamental calligraphic work, left uncovered exposing the rough cuts, the unpolished mortar work - is it a reflection of the raw animal spirit that is inherent in each of us? Is it a reflection of how we all are crude in our core and all our appeasing outer appearance is simply a mask of transient beauty? Is it a reminder that behind every polished work of enchanting beauty lies an unpolished rough reality? Is it a time ordained message that beauty, grandeur, greatness, perfection, excellence are all patchworks masking human frailty, failure, raw reality, harshness, imperfection?
          Though the importance of a work of art is measured on the basis of its historical significance, contemporary relevance, cultural contribution among other things, a primordial measure is how many ripples of thought does it give birth to in the thinking mind. Pablo Picasso famously said "Art is a lie that helps us see the truth." Since this colossal structure triggers the thought of many truths, at least to me on a personal level, it is an extraordinary marvelous work of art. It has left me mesmerized. It has left me with a lot of questions. It has left me with a haunting feel of incompletion. It has left me with a yearning for the infinite. It has left me with thoughts of naught, from which all that exists is born.

Feb 12, 2013

ಬರಿಯ ಪರಿಕಲ್ಪನೆ?

ಉಪಮೆ ಉಪಮಾನಗಳಾಚೆ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯವೂ ಬರಿಯ ಪರಿಕಲ್ಪನೆ!
ಹೃನ್ಮನದಿ ಭರದಿ ಸಾಗಿರುವ ಭಾವೋತ್ಪನ್ನ ಕ್ರಿಯೆಯ ವಿವರಣೆ.
ಎನಿತು ಸರ್ವಕಾಲಿಕ, ಸರ್ವ ದೇಶೋ-ಭಾವ ಸತ್ಯ ಸಂಧತೆ?
ಎಲ್ಲಾ ವಿಶೇಷತೆ - ಬರಿಯ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿ ವಿಶಿಷ್ಟತೆ, ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿ ನಿರ್ದಿಷ್ಟತೆ!?

Jan 8, 2013

Sachin, Jaane ki zid na karo...

          
     Ever wondered if truth is actually a dream? Ever found yourself in a position where you desperately wanted the fact to be confirmed false and simply kept waiting for it to happen, defying all logic? Yeah, we all would have experienced these in our childhood. But I found myself in similar situations over the past month. Not that my childhood is over, I am still a child in his 3rd decade!! But despite the fact of Tendulkar's retirement from ODI, it took almost one month, and an entire India-Pakistan series for me to half heartedly accept the fact.
       With the retirement of Tendulkar from ODIs, a part of my childhood is at jeopardy. He set his foot into ODIs in 1989, the year I was born. His first ODI century was hit in 1994, the year I entered schooling. And from then on, there has been no stopping. All my schooling in cricket was watching Tendulkar. Watching him hit those straight drives with wide open eyes, has to be one of the most cherished moments of my childhood. To me, Tendulkar resonates with my own dreams of victory and now I am anxious if my dreams will be orphaned?
      Our only family TV show back then, was when Tendulkar held fort. Mom and Dad, though were not cricket crazy, simply stopped in front of the TV screen to catch a glimpse of the phenomenon that brought life and joy to millions of sports lovers the world over. The agile Tendulkar, though short was fast and smart enough to fox the fielding side to pick a single though the ball remained within the crease. This one fact was something that always left my dad awe struck.
       I vividly remember that World cup Indo-Pak encounter in 2003. My Dad, never cricket crazy, got a call and he replied he could not come till Tendulkar stood strong in the crease! That innings was magical. That six into the stands set up the successful Indian chase. We talk of chases and we don't talk of that mammoth chase against Australia! He stood like a Gladiator that day, anchored the entire Indian batting line up and to every cricket fan, that was a victory in defeat! Chasing 350 against one of the finest teams in contemporary times, Tendulkar scored a legendary 175(141 balls) and proved why he was the master of the craft. Who in India will forget the first 200 in ODIs?
      Why only the milestones? Moments of exuberant cricketing genius fill my memory. That daring attempt to direct the ball over the slip cordon along its way to the fence, that ability to play lofted shots along the spin over the bowler, that flick of the wrists to guide the ball on the leg side, and my personal favorite - the straight drive. Oh, what maturity in that batting of his! That movement of his eyes as he read the ball pacing towards him, that sweet sound when the ball was hit from the middle of his bat, that humility in his celebration and the agony in us when the ball knocked off his stumps - Nahi boolunga mein, jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan!
      The tragedy of cricket in our country is that it is not a sport. As they say, it is more of a religion - a religion which thankfully remains above communalism. But is prone to most of the flaws that religions are subject to in India - extreme admiration, unreasonable loyalty, baseless beliefs, illogical expectations, bigotry. Every admirer of sports knows victory and defeat are inevitable to any mortal. But to most Indians, Tendulkar was always looked up as an exception. To us, he was the God of Cricket. Every time he took guard, we wanted him to score another century. If anyone has betrayed Tendulkar the most, then it is we, his own country men. We denied him any concession, at least those chances of failure, every mortal is entitled to. Yet, the great man was the most unlikely to loose cool and kept us entertained and educated us with his skills on field and behavior off field. We mounted such immense pressure on him that one single measure of his greatness lies is his composure, the finest among any contemporary sportsmen.
        Sachin's game was not one of passion, but of vigorous passion. There was energy to it, enthusiasm in it and over all a child like eagerness in it. He too has had his failures. The nervous nineties were something very characteristic of Tendulkar. He holds the record of maximum 90s too! At times, we have seen him being too edgy and scratchy. Maybe the 100th century will be best remembered for how scratchy an innings it was. Lean patches occur in the careers of the finest of the finest and Tendulkar too was no exception. The law of averages did catch up with the God of Cricket, I wonder if the supreme God himself is actually exempt from it? 
        Maybe the statistics and record books will paint varied pictures of the legend that Sachin was, but to a true sports lover it is not the number of records that bear his name against them, but it is some of the finest moments of cricketing joy that Tendulkar has given us to cherish that make him the legend we adore. In Indian mythology, it is believed that the only instance when time stopped was at the beginning of the Kurukshetra war when Krishna preached the Bhagavad Gita to Arjuna. The late Peter Roebuck wondered if there have been more of such instances because time stopped in India when the little master held fort in the peak of his form.
       Now, that he has announced his retirement from ODIs, I find my heart singing to him, one of Urdu poetry's finest poems pleading the loved one not to insist on leaving -

Aaj jaane ki zid na karo 
Yoon hi pehlu mein baittey raho
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo....

Tum hi socho zara Kyoon na rokey tumhe
Jaan jaati hai jab utt ke jaatey ho tum
Tumko apni kasam, jaane jaan
Baat itni meri maan lo....

Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Yoon hi pehlu mein baittey raho..


(Don't insist on leaving tonight
Just sit by my side
Don't
insist on leaving tonight...

Give it a thought, Why should not I withhold you?
My life departs as you rise to take leave of me
My love, swear by me
This small request of mine, agree to it...

Don't insist on leaving tonight
Just sit by my side....
)



Dec 18, 2012

Waging the war.


"There is magic in fighting battles beyond endurance." 
- Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris 
("Million Dollar Baby")
      As we live our daily lives, we keep waging battles. So many battles all around us, sometimes we ourselves tend to loose count of them! Those battles too evolve every moment. They are so dynamic that by the time we plan our next move, the battle scenario itself gets altered! The result of these battles are, in most cases, not easy to decipher though they are fought in and around us.
       All of us, every moment of our existence, battle for one thing or the other. Most of the times, for more than one thing. Battling with ideas, battling with thoughts, battling at job, battling in relationships, battling for social or emotional justice, battling for a peace meal, battling for solitude, battling against loneliness! Ah, what miracle are we humans - for we battle on so many turfs, all at once!
      What is extremely amazing is not that we battle so much, but that the human spirit can put up extraordinary fights one after another; that unbelievable belief which emerges only in moments of crisis; that unwavering composure that mocks at defeat in its own defeat! What is it that fuels a human soul with such legendary character?
      While in the battlefield, we all would love to win. Battling against all odds, not that the heroic warrior always wins, he does loose at times. But in a few of those lost battles are his most cherished victories! He moves on from one battle to another, unperturbed by their outcomes because all that the warrior hopes is to wage the war... undefeated! What if the battles are lost? He knows the war is not over, it shall never be over. He shall always stay undefeated in the war because he wages the war till death parts him from the war field and no warrior who dies fighting is defeated!
"For most of us, this is the aim 
Never here to be realised; 
Who are only undefeated 
Because we have gone on trying." 
- T.S.Eliot ( 'Four Quartets' )
       What makes the war legendary is that at times, only the warrior knows he is engaged in a war. Not always and not to everyone around can the warrior communicate the war he is waging. After all, legendary wars are fought in the soul and true heroes manifest only within the soul. Khalil Gibran pointed it best when he wrote - "Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgement wage war against your passion and your appetite." Unwavering, the warrior wages his war in his soul, with an indifference to either the criticism or the applause that he is bestowed with. He knows Longfellow wrote the truth in his lines -
"Not in the clamour of the crowded street,
Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng,
But, in ourselves, are triumph and defeat."
       A compromise, a loss, a wound, a betray, an unforeseen disaster are all parts and parcels along the journey of battles. However fine a strategist we are, we simply can't escape the raw realities and unpredictabilities of the battlefield. In the face of uncertainty, the warrior is certain of his faith in himself. Not that he is blessed with a monkish one-pointedness of concentration, but despite many moments of wavering thoughts and emotional crisis, he believes he can handle the situation and strives all out to handle it. The belief translates into action, as described in the epics - because to a true warrior there is no epic bigger than the war he wages.
    For a warrior, optimism is never a luxury, but a primary necessity. His optimism is his belief in his abilities. He does strategise for most of the potential negative happenings and consequences, but not for a moment does he give up his faith in life. The warrior knows that things might turn much grim than predicted, he might be left absolutely helpless; but never hopeless - his hope is in the transiency of life. He remembers his lesson from the wise Zen master that 'this too shall pass'; he shall wait with patience because that is his strongest move!
       The warrior fights all through the war, not because victory is his sole motive, but because the warrior is born to fight. His fight is not against mortal enemies, but against his own fears, which he wishes to conquer. His purpose is not to reign supreme, but to reveal to himself his own true spirit. And to each one of us, discovering the warrior within us and letting him move from one battle to another on a journey of exploring the war he is destined to wage is probably why life is bestowed on us!

Sep 13, 2012

Folly to be wise.

Rowan Atkinson as Mr.Bean: Wise or Unwise!

     "Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life." - Lord Byron 

 
       We are overloaded with information from all sides. Every now and then, there is a dosage of information awaiting to be consumed by us. We are extremely privileged if we have the freedom to choose between consuming it or simply denying it. Because, as I see it, not all information is knowledge, and not all knowledge is wisdom. Above all, its not wisdom alone that drives our lives.
         Living in what is dubbed as the 'information era', I have due respect to the power of information and knowledge. I have been witness to incidents where the phrase 'knowledge is power' has lived up to its literary description and even beyond. But sometimes I do wonder how much of knowledge is sufficient power and does the excess of knowledge lead to disastrous consequences as does the excess of power?
       Though I doubt the absolute validity of Ernest Hemingway's statement "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know", the statement is not without its share of truth! Knowing much of a thing/event/person, beyond what is necessary neither adds to knowledge, nor serves any purpose. Or does it? I do not have a generalized answer yet and doubt if I will ever have one because its more of a circumstantial question. But I doubt if Obsessive Attention to Detail (OAD), which is advocated by few new age Gurus as an ingredient to the so called success, is really worth all that attention! Maybe in realms where it pays off to know, it is worth to know and in other arenas, it is simply best to shut up and enjoy the show!
          If you are an Engineer, and the more of the technicality you master, the better is the product you design. Now that is a case where 'you take care of the small things and the big things will take care of themselves.' But if you are married and you decide to dig into every detail of your spouse, then is it not a sure recipe for disaster? The small thing to take care here is not to interfere into their sphere of autonomy and not to dig deep because 'the devil is in the details'!
        The happiest of all are children. (These days, peer pressure and hyper competition seem to be screwing up their happiness too.) And why are they so happy? Because they do not need a reason to be happy. Its their innocence that leaves them lot happier than most of us can ever be. They dig either into the earth or into the walls but not into the details!
        Most acts, however kind and altruist, when dissected to the finer details and analyzed critically may reveal some gray shades. Rather than looking at the darker side of things, it is up to us to choose to appreciate the beauty of the brighter side. Is it such a huge crime to have few gray shades, after all we are all mortals and it is our love for our own selves that characterizes us!
       It is not that I advocate ignorance. I do not think any issue has a single, one-dimensional solution, unless within the covers of a text book! The solution of every issue has to be pursued on a case by case basis, considering its circumstantial and consequential factors. So, there is no legitimacy in claiming ignorance to be a pragmatic solution. But I find myself agreeing with Thomas Gray, who penned these lines -
Yet ah! why should they know their fate? 
Since sorrow never comes too late, 
And happiness too swiftly flies. 
Thought would destroy their paradise. 
No more; where ignorance is bliss, 
'Tis folly to be wise.
           Life is simply all about walking on the Razor's edge. We place our feet too hard, the razor pierces our feet and we bleed. We walk too lightly, we loose balance and fall. The only way to walk on it unharmed is to place our feet as hard and as soft as is required! Maybe there in lies the detailed secret!!

Aug 14, 2012

The enigma called 'women'

Picture credit: broadrecognition.com

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
                         - Maya Angelou 
                         ('Phenomenal Women')

            Oh women*, the greatest enigma ever to have existed, will we men ever be able to understand a billionth of you? Or will it always be that you are from Venus and we from Mars!? What creatures are you? What is it that fills your heart? How many emotions, how many feelings have you buried in there? Each dimple and each wrinkle on your face, do they hide beneath them epic stories in grace? Has ever a man deciphered at least one among the million thoughts masked in every gaze and stare of yours?
         How come is nature so unfair? You women are made so calm, composed and complex all at a time while we men can't even claim the credit to be at least one at a time! Is this inherent unfairness because nature too like you all is a graceful lady who prefers to shoulder her emotional traumas all by herself? Is it that you women are not wired the way we men are? We men are poor in looking at what is invisible, understanding what is not told and reacting to what is yet to happen. To us, what is white is white and what is black is black. But to you, like those intelligent physicists who widened the horizons of our knowledge, white is made of seven colors! Oh wait, only seven? I am talking of 'women' and they are blessed with the ability of such enormous multiplicity of thoughts, that maybe even seven billion or trillion thoughts might get triggered in them by a single word of ours.
         No, I don't complain of incompatibility. After all you are nature's most prized creation! All that I intend to say is that I am simply amazed by the ability that women possess. Any supercomputer, however technically superior, shall fare poor if it had to compete with the thought processing ability of the female brain. What extraordinary parallel processing of thoughts. You are now here, now there and now everywhere. You handle this, that, even that and what not! To men a super hero is either a Superman, or a Spiderman or a Batman. But not to women, for each one of you is a combo of Superwoman, Spiderwoman and Batwoman!
       The simple presence of women in the lives of men, in whatever form- daughter, sister, friend, colleague, wife, girl friend, guide, teacher or above all mother - makes our life come alive. (I have not had the privilege of the company of women in all these forms, but only a few. And a friend of mine remarks that is precisely the reason I am more appreciative of them.) You have the best shoulders to cry on; you are the best shock absorbers in times of crisis; you have that magical 1000 Watt smile that lights us up on any gloomy day and that genuine gentleness coupled with child like innocence which eases the process of living and makes life simply beautiful!
         But why is it that most of the times, you mean different from what you say? Given the foolishness of men like us, how come do you expect us to read between the lines? If it was Shakespeare, Voltaire or Dostoevsky we could have managed for they were all men, but you are women. Those high energy thesis of the Higgs Boson experiment seem understandable because they are told the way they are. Oh, how I wish there was a compiler which decoded your words into your thoughts. If technology ever manages to come up with such a decoder, that will be its greatest contribution in easing the life of men! You share events and expect us to react to your emotions which arose as a consequence to those events. Who on earth gave you the false impression that men are damn smart? I doubt if God himself is so smart!
         When it hurts, do let us know it hurts. When you are happy, please reveal it to us. We are dumb enough to pick up the wrong vibes, insensitive enough to fail noticing changes (which always turn out to be significant to you, when we fail to gauge its - forget the significance - presence itself) So, you tell us and we shall know it. Not that we shall always be the same dumb fools, but you help us increase our sensitivity. And one fine day, maybe we too will reach that peak of minimum maturity where reading between your lines becomes a possibility. If possible, please be a bit more insensitive. When we men say a thing, we usually mean only what we say. Please do not derive interpretations which never actually existed.
       But maybe it is all easy said than done. Is it? And we men may find it too hard to understand why it is so tough for you to put your thoughts into words. Well, if this is the way it is, then let it be so. Sometimes a status quo is the only thing which is the way to progress, because that is the only way of survival. We expect when things seem to be in our sway and accept when we realize we are in the sway of things. What better can we mortals do? The battle of the sexes has no end, for its end only signifies the arrival of the doomsday.
     Yet, we owe to you much much than you ever owe to us. What if Shakespeare said, 'Fraility, thy name is woman!' The universe itself is frail, isn't it? I have sincerely come to believe that the best in the business deserve every word of exaggeration in appreciation. And as I see it, certain women are more than the best when it comes to living a complete life! So, the appreciation of women in case is exaggerated, is still justified! I step away and would prefer to take a bow to you, the unbelievable species, with whom we men coexist. Not just coexist, but on whom we depend much more than you do on us. Women, without you, life would not be what it is. Nay, wrong again. Women, without you, how on earth would life be!

* Obviously not all women are alike, especially not the way described in this post. A lot of women might themselves disagree with this. But there are adorable women made of this stuff of legends, living epic lives. And they are the enigma that elude me!

Jun 30, 2012

Freedom of thoughts.


I crave for the freedom of thoughts.
The freedom to not succumb to an ideology in vogue, 
but to understand its essence.
The freedom to not take sides of a well crafted argument,
but to appreciate its intricacies.
The freedom to not applaud the words of the powerful, 
but to assimilate the power of words.
The freedom to not borrow agreed perceptions of the best, 
but to explore and frame opinions. 
The freedom to not defend all criticism that is hurled, 
but to accept and introspect.
The freedom to not disrupt and wobble, 
but to dissent and rebel.
I crave for the freedom of thoughts.

Jun 21, 2012

Random reflections on being right.

 
Oh seasons, oh castles,
What soul is without flaws?
      - Arthur Rimbaud

    We all are born into this world with our share of flaws. None of us is flawless. Sometimes it is these flaws in us which make us what we are, teach us the lessons we need to learn and shape our lives for the better. It is not that I claim the flaws and imperfections to be right. But I think they form a necessary part of life's package. As we overcome the flaws, we live our lives. And sometimes that act of overcoming is what turns out to be the most important part of this great drama of life!

    But as individuals, part of the society, we are very much biased towards denying the flaws that characterize us. When a good friend points out a flaw of ours to us, the most common reaction we are conditioned to express is to find ways to defend it. Our mind gets involved in exploiting options and arguments which would put us on the path of being right. But, is being flawless actually being right? Or going a step further, is being right such a huge necessity? 

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"
 - William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

    What is good and what not? What is right and what not? These are questions not to find answers but to actually find ourselves. An objective answer to these questions has eluded the best of all intellectual minds. The objectivity of right and wrong is battled on the turfs of moral and ethical philosophy for centuries. Was Thomas Scanlon right when he wrote - "Thinking about right and wrong is, at the most basic level, thinking about what could be justified to others on grounds that they, if appropriately motivated, could not reasonably reject."? But in the everyday living of ours, we all tend to behave in a way that we believe is right. So then, within each of us is an understanding of what we consider is right and what not. Given this understanding, is it that we live through life assimilating this understanding and behaving the right way or is it that we are compelled by the "need to be right" against our natural flow to live?

      Consider a girl who is engaged to a boy. They are supposed to get married in a couple of weeks, the kith and kin have been invited to grace their marriage ceremony and everything is being put in place for the 'fat' Indian wedding. Spending time with him, she realizes he is not what she supposed him to be. She gets to know that they both are of contrasting emotional wiring. She battles to let him know of their differences but the guy just can't understand what she yearns to convey. A week to the marriage, the girl gives up her attempts to make things work. Now, if she marries him owing to the pressure of the family because it is 'not the right thing to break the marriage after so much preparation', is she actually being right or is it the need to be right which coerced her into the knot?
     
"The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind." - Albert Camus

      Much of what is agreed to be right is not because we know it is right but because we agree to the social consensus of it being right. Despite the fact that social consensus is not independent of space and time, it is indeed very important. The social consensus on morality of an act is among the most vital governing authorities around which human civilizations have evolved. If not for its towering presence in our conscience, every civilization would have been reduced to anarchy! The system of law and justice is largely a codification of the social consensus on ethics and rights. But how far can the long arm of social consensus be allowed to stretch? And to what extent do we as individuals need to adhere to its judgment on right and wrong?

    Consider our own behaviour in every day life. Let us say at the place I work smoking is not considered to be the right thing and so I abstain from it there. Late in the night on a day of heavy workload, I stay back all alone at the workspace and since I am all alone, I smoke. Though I too consider it to be wrong, my desire and temptation succeed to get the better of me(as always!). But there is a raw(?) satisfaction because no one knows of the wrong I have committed. Despite having known I have wronged, I am considered by my colleagues at the workspace as being a righteous guy. Is it that I am actually right because being right is just a question of perception? Or is it that the entire notion of being socially right is flawed?

    Or that on another similar occassion I am caught smoking by one of my colleagues, who is gracious enough not to reveal it to anyone else. So whenever it is only the two of us working I start to smoke. My logic being that anyway he knows I smoke and what purpose in maintaing the image of 'being right' with him. Is this approach of mine towards the unmasking of myself right? Or is the act of committing something considered wrong irrespective of being watched, amounts to having done wrong?

“It is no longer being just and generous that makes us right; it is being successful." *

    Oh yeah, the dimension of success too is attached to the conception of being right! In the contemporary society of ours, maybe being successful is the most commonly agreed way of being right. (And this is the most paradoxical statement I could ever make!) We do not have an agreed notion of success anywhere but we agree to consider it to be a de-facto scale to call something right!

    Recently at a school near the place I live by, a mock election was conducted to introduce the concept of elections to students. A child (I call him a child because I was told he was barely 13 years old), who contested in it as a candidate demanded his father to buy certain gift items for him, which he intended to distribute among his friends who formed the electoral collage. On asking why he wanted it so badly, he said he needs to win the election and it was success alone that could assure him his 'right' place in the class! Is success an absolutely necessary pre-requisite in our struggle to be 'right'? Or is that the charm of so called success encashes on our credulity?

     I do not claim to know the answers to the questions which did arise in this unorganized, raw flow of thought. If left to roam around, these thoughts never settle down. Breaking away from their sway, I take refugee in Ghalib. Commenting on his verses and the right meaning they conveyed, he writes - "Na sataaish ki tamanna, na sile ki parvah. Gar nahi hai mere ashar me mani, na sahi." (Neither the desire for praise, nor the craving for reward. If my verses have no meaning, then so be it.) If in a world of infinitely many possibilities, my actions do not qualify to be called 'right', then so be it!

* This seemingly ironic quote is part of the larger statement “We are suffering a reign of terror because human values have been  replaced by contempt for others and the worship of efficiency, the  desire for freedom by the desire for domination. It is no longer being just and generous that makes us right; it is being successful.”, attributed to Albert Camus. But I doubt if it is a mis attribution.

Apr 11, 2012

A lot of difference.



“Sar Zamin-e-hind par aqwaam-e-alam ke firaq
kafile guzarte gae Hindustan banta gaya”
(“In the land of Hind, the Caravans of the people of
the world kept coming in and India kept getting formed”)
- Firaq Gorakhpuri  
    

       Despite the tremendous strides we have achieved as a nation and society, the ill feelings between ourselves owing to our religious differences have not totally  vanished. They sometimes appear to be consciously watered. Hatred being fed into young minds on various pretexts. The growing religious extremism haunts us mainly at two levels, as I perceive it. One, at the mass level - leading to various communal clashes. Two, at the intellectual level - leading to gross misconceptions about our religions and the true ideals they preach. 
         Though we claim to be highly educated, a large chunk of the educated class is yet to shun of its preoccupations on religious misconceptions. The never ending suspicion about the guy who wears an orthodox dress, lack of respect to a teacher whose accent supposedly reveals his religion, the foolish assumption that bearded guys are either of a particular religion or are a depressed lot. (God! How frequent a victim I have been to this assumption, all thanks to the beard I sport, well complemented by a supposedly dumb face!) Why, why these baseless set of reasoning? Why these shameless set of attitudes? Why this kolaveri di?
        As I shuffled through the pages of The Hindu (Apr 10, 2012), a newspaper which has become much more than a part of my life, I came across this very interesting letter from a reader. The letter is the precise piece which triggered this blog post.(I have taken the liberty to publish the letter on this blog, copying as it is from the official website of The Hindu here: http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/letters/article3297788.ece).

Brilliant

      In his brilliant article “A Sufi message from a Pakistani President” in the OpEd page of The Hindu (April 9), Saeed Naqvi mentions that Hasrat Mohani “… fancied that God had sent prophets to every country and the one he sent to India was Lord Krishna!” Nawab Akbar Yar Jung was a Judge of the Hyderabad High Court in the Nizam's Government. On August 11,1936, he addressed a meeting on the occasion of the Krishna Janmashtami in which he quoted the Holy Quran, 49:78, “We sent Apostles before Thee: there are some of them that We have mentioned to thee and others we have not mentioned.”
     “The Hindus; they accept Ramachandra and Shri Krishna as their religious leaders. We must therefore unhesitatingly accept them as prophets. I belong to a much hated sect of people who already hold this view. I do not hesitate to accept Shri Krishna (upon him be peace) as a prophet.”
      That reads as Krishna Alehsalam — a honorific not lightly used; Jesus is — Isa Alehsalam. There was a protest in Hyderabad against this speech and the Nizam reprimanded Bahadur Yar Jung. But no adverse action followed. That shows the catholicity of that government, chiefly due then to Sir Akbar Hydari, a Bohra.
       I think Nawab Akbar Yar Jung was an Ahmediya. He was the father of my dear friend and classmate Prof. Rasheedudeen Khan. When as a teenager, I spent my holidays with them, Nawab Sahib used to say to me, “Mian, Main Krishna Janmbhoomi ka hoon. Yeh log nahin samjenge!” Rasheed's mother was a Hyderabadi! Sir Mohammed Iqbal called Rama, Imam-i-Hind. Nawab sahib was calling Krishna a prophet, alehsalam. For those who understand these niceties, there is a lot of difference.
B.P.R. Vithal,
Hyderabad

        How beautiful! People of tolerance and acceptance are those who add to the faith and hope that one day all of us shall no more derive our identity based on the religions into which we were born but we shall take pride of the truly secular society in which we live. Everyday all around us are such souls of compassion and humanism. The ordinary men and women we encounter everyday and who make our every moment's peaceful co-existence a reality are actually extraordinary. Despite the lot of difference in their beliefs and culture it is the strength of this diversity that has kept the subcontinent alive and colourful. A responsibility each of us has to shoulder is to better it.
          Not long back, during the days of the controversy regarding the inclusion of A K Ramanujan's essay of 'Three hundred Ramayanas' in Delhi University course, I read an interesting anecdote in a magazine. An ex-judge of the Tamil Nadu High court, I don't remember his name exactly, probably Justice Hidayatullah was during his time considered the foremost authority on the Tamil epic Kamba Ramayana. Interests and curiosities know no barrier of religion and geographic boundaries, then why enforce them on the beautiful lives of posterity?
         As I read through the letter, I was reminded of these immortal lines, penned by the inimitable Sahir Ludhianvi -
तू हिन्दू बनेगा ना मुसलमान बनेगा
इंसान की औलाद है, इंसान बनेगा ।
....
नफरत जो सिखाये, वो धरम तेरा नहीं है।
इन्साफ जो रोंदे, वो कदम तेरा नहीं हैं।
कुर'आन ना हो जिसमे वो मंदिर नहीं तेरा,
गीता ना हो जिसमे वो हरम तेरा नहीं है ।
तू अमन का और सुलह का अरमान बनेगा।
इंसान की औलाद है, इंसान बनेगा ।
....
(Neither a Hindu nor a Muslim shall you become.
A human progeny are you. A human shall you become
......
Which preaches hatred, that religion is not yours.
Which tramples justice, that footstep is not yours.
Where is no Qur'aan, that temple is not yours.
Where is no Geeta, that Mosque is not yours.
An apostle of peace and harmony shall you become.
A human progeny are you. A human shall you become
......)

        The letter also took me down the memory lane. As a middle school kid, I was lucky to be taught Hindi and History(Social Science actually) by two Muslim teachers. I still remember how balanced the History sir would handle the subject of Muslim invasion into India and the growth of Hindu kingdoms down South. Though the delicacy of the issue was beyond my perception back then, I marvel at the ability of such teachers who assure objectivity and avoid flawed extremism from being sowed into tender minds. Both of them loved to play Cricket and we children got to play with them a few afternoons during the recess. Though I frequently dropped catches, I picked up the beauty of Urdu as a language. I do owe my present craze for Ghalib's poetry to those gentlemen.
        A few months ago, an elderly Muslim friend invited me to his new textile shop inauguration ceremony. Though I prefer to avoid ceremonial events, I chose to attend this one. He was indeed a very long acquaintance and there was no dearth of feel good moments despite decades of age difference between us. Unaccustomed with their tradition, I went to the venue well in time for the occasion. I wore a shirt and trouser unlike everyone else who were dressed in ceremonial kurtas, with the white topi adorning their heads. It was apparent that I had walked in too early and was obviously the odd one out. Minutes later the auspicious rendering of prayer was supposed to begin. It was a very small shop, hardly accommodating fifteen of us. The Maulvi looked at the owner, my friend and maybe his eyes questioned my presence. As I stood up to walk out, the gentleman - my friend held me and asked me to sit by his side in the very forefront. He told the Maulvi - "Apna hi ladka hai". The next fifteen minutes I sat through a blissful rendition of prayer, much of which I did not understand, but did get the feel of 'ameen'. 
         Yes, for those who understand these niceties, there is a lot of difference.

Mar 10, 2012

The white among the blues!!

        
"... gladiatorial intensity and monkish one pointedness of purpose; .. glint in the eyes, the eyes of a born warrior marooned in the belly of the Sahara desert with less than a day's ration left...."
                                                       - Nirmal Shekar, talking of Rahul Dravid.

       As middle school kids in the late 90s, only two things in cricket made sense to us. The runs scored by Sachin and the deliveries 'consumed' by Dravid. We, most of the times, cursed the later for 'wasting' deliveries. (He does hold the world record for facing highest number of deliveries in Test cricket - a whooping 31258!) ODIs, back then to us, meant nothing more than a full furnished version of the 'hit the ball with the bat' game we played on the streets, in the classrooms and into the kitchen!
      Only as age grew, the charm of test cricket got revealed. Then did I realize, however nail bitting a thriller was, the beauty of romancing poetry would be the most pleasing of all reading exercises. Then did the craze for men in blue die down and was born the benign bliss of watching the monk in white mediatate through innings of mammoth duration with almost absolute resoluteness. The calmness and dignity, the steadfastness and selflessness - Sometimes, I wonder if Dravid was that philosopher who preached only by practicing.
       For most in our generation, born after the Gavaskar and Kapil Dev era into the Tendulkar regime, Indian test cricket and Rahul Dravid are synonymous. Even people who never understood a speck of Test cricket would watch a few overs when the Dravid in white held fort. To be bathed in the radiance of his patient approach were moments to be cherished for.
      If as in football, a list of best defenders would be made in Cricket, not many would deny Dravid a rank at the helm. It was not for no reason that he was called 'The Wall' or 'Mr.Reliable'. He was that breed of batsmen who put the highest price on their wicket. No bowler was ever given his wicket, the bowler had to toil to take it. Years ago, rushing out of an exam hall, I called a friend to ask him the score. He told - "Pray God to save wickets at one end." Any guy could have understood Dravid stood at the other end.
      A second fiddle like no other, Dravid has been part of some extraordinary partnerships in cricketing history. Many fine innings of Tendulkar, Ganguly and Laxman were carved out in Dravid's company. He stood along when they stood, he stood alone when none stood. In a game of uncertainties, Dravid was for long the certain guardian. Though a specialist No.3, he did open the innings when the team needed him to or came in late at No.6, when that was asked of him. How forget the days when he kept wickets in a bid to stabilize the team's make up.
       While men of muscle skied the ball across the boundary, Dravid was more of an artist who worked for the singles and twos as if engineering his way to pursue them. Despite the storms, downpours or scorching heat - the likes of Waqar Younis, Glenn McGrath or Allan Doland - Dravid would water the seeds of an innings unperturbed and see through every stage of its growth, fighting with the grit of a never-die spirited farmer who gave all his to ensure the plant flowered and bear fruits. However high the stakes or however immense the pressure mounted, never a sign of rage. If Indian cricket is an orchestra troop, whose soothing music we have enjoyed, then the invisible conductor whose face has seldom hogged the limelight is Rahul Dravid. Always calm, composed and beyond doubt the man for all seasons, either on field or off field.
       As I close my eyes and think of Dravid, to my mind always comes a picture. On a field among men in blue I see him in white. He is all set to face the delivery. Shifts body weight to the back foot, waits for the ball and plays his characteristic late cut so late that it appears as if he just pushed the ball out of the keeper's gloves. Before I can completely grasp the beauty of it, he is out of his crease and running.... This time, not to come back again...

Feb 29, 2012

Revisiting 221B, Baker Street!!




'Omne ignotum pro magnifico' 
(The unknown is always thought to be magnificent)
     This is my favorite phrase from Latin. A very true one. As long as we do not get to know someone from very close quarters, we look at them in awe. But on getting close and discovering their mortality and imperfections, the awe dies down. But, I am witness to an exception - the most extraordinary exception. The character, who introduced the phrase to me more than a decade ago still appears as magnificent as he did on that fateful day or probably even more! What an irony to call him an exception who always rejected them - "I never make exceptions. An exception disproves the rule." Yes, the magnificent one is none other than Mr.Sherlock Holmes!! 
      Tough to capture the essence of Sherlock in words. Or is he just beyond description? The best I have come across yet is his own! As he states in 'The Sign of Four': "There are in me the makings of a very fine loafer and also of a pretty spry sort of fellow. I often think of those lines of old Goethe - Schade dass die Natur nur Einen Mensch aus Dir schuf, Denn zum wuerdigen Mann war und zum Schelmen der Stoff. (Nature, alas, made only one being out of you, Although there was material for a good man and a rogue.)"
      Given his character, he could have gone on to be the best philosopher or scientist in the world of fictional literature. But, he was Sherlock and he had his own way of doing things - a way no one else could even think of!! "My mind, rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world." The world's first and beyond doubt the best consulting detective! “The only unofficial consulting detective. I am the last and highest court of appeal in detection." One whose singular ability to deduce truth has never had any near competition in the universe.
       Holmes, the master of the Science of deduction, is not just a fictional character brought to life by the imaginative genius of Sir Arthur Canon Doyle; but is that charisma and enigma which has shaped the way detective fiction, criminology, forensic science, human psychology, the science of cognition, the philosophy of logic and reasoning have evolved over generations. He is of that rarest breed of characters who elevated criminal investigation to a fine art and a science demanding subtle observation and intelligent research. The impact of the over 150 year old character (his first appearance was in 1857) on the field is so profound that in 2002, the Royal Society of Chemistry bestowed an honorary fellowship of their organisation upon Holmes, for his use of forensic science and analytical chemistry, making him the only fictional character to be thus honoured! His influence on serious academic research is also noteworthy. Google scholar shows up the mention of Holmes in highly regarded research papers in fields as diverse as expert psychology, analytical chemistry and medical jurisprudence among many others.
        He is also one of the finest intelligent entertainers - a hot favorite on stage and on screen as well. The Guinness World Records has consistently listed Sherlock Holmes as the "most portrayed movie character" with more than 75 actors playing the part in well over 200 screen adaptations and the list is still growing strong! (If you never watched 'Jeremy Brett' play Holmes to perfection, curse yourself for not yet catching up the performance of the bygone century! Also Benedict Cumberbatch does make a sound impression in the BBC's fine recreation of 'Sherlock'.)
Jeremy Brett as Sherlock on screen.
         The chemistry between Holmes, the character and Doyle, his creator is one which has no parallels in the realm of literature. Theirs was probably a duel like no other. Maybe Holmes out lived Doyle in all the ways. Doyle did almost kill Holmes in the 'Final problem', may be he was desperate to - "even if I buried my bank account with him," he wrote in his autobiography. He was relieved during the 'Great Hiatus', as is evident from his statement - "I have been much blamed for doing that gentleman to death, but I hold that it was not murder, but justifiable homicide in self-defense, since, if I had not killed him, he would certainly have killed me." But Holmes worked his way out! Doyle had to relent to the mounting pressure from publishers and public alike, Holmes reappeared in the 'Adventure of the empty house' outwitting death too! Despite the enormous success and following Doyle enjoyed, courtesy Holmes, he actually complained in his later years - "If I had never touched Holmes, who has tended to obscure my higher work, my position in literature would at the present moment be a more commanding one."
      We talk of Holmes and we don't talk of Watson, we are not talking of Holmes! Or, as Holmes himself rightly pointed out, “Where would I be without my Boswell?” One of the finest friendships, with its unique intricacies. I don't think it an exaggeration to say, any guy shall feel jealous of Holmes for having a companion as good as Dr.Watson! "Come at once if convenient — if inconvenient come all the same" is how Holmes sends for Watson! Though very cold blooded and never a man for sentiment, Holmes has a very special regard for Watson, which is seldom revealed. Except in an adventure where Watson gets hurt and recalls it as a worthy wound, "it was worth many wounds - to know the depth and loyalty of love which lay behind the cold mask. The clear hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking. For the one and only time I caught a glimpse of a great heart as well as a great brain."
       Despite Watson's claims that Holmes' "ignorance was as remarkable as his knowledge", Holmes does at times appear to be a polymath. He quotes from Goethe, remembers details of little known historical facts, his knowledge in Chemistry is simply amazing and the geography of London is a child's play to him! Maybe he knew too well that to master the important, the biggest prerequisite was to recognize and leave behind the unimportant. 
     Why does his character stand out for more than a century and a half, that too in times of such immense changes? Because there was none like him before and there can none ever be like him, except him. As straight forward as it gets - "I cannot agree with those who rank modesty among their virtues. To the logician all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one's self is as much a departure from the truth as to exaggerate one's powers." Absolutely logical, unflawed reasoning - "It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." Undying yearning to learn - "Education never ends Watson. It is a series of lessons with the greatest for the last." Much beyond us, but still like us - "It was easier to know it than to explain why I know it." The most vigilant eyes, tailor made for detail - "You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear." Subtle and subtle to the core - "It is, of course, a trifle, but there is nothing so important as trifles."
      Holmes is one of variety. Each Holmesian has his own reason to adore the Master. Despite the differences, he is never less than an obsession to each one. What work and cocaine were to Holmes, that is Holmes to us. For me, what absolutely stands out in the master sleuth is his philosophy towards life. There is no dearth of philosophical insights in his monologues and punch lines - "Everything in this world is relative, my dear Watson."; "When one tries to rise above Nature one is liable to fall below it."; "Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent." He can go on and on like this for a very long time. Credit, recognition, fame were never among his incentives. To him work and work alone was the source of all pleasure in life. Cocaine served as a feeble substitute in the absence of challenging work. "The work is its own reward." - the line by which he lived and almost died! His clarity in this approach never witnessed a change. It was always - "I prefer to work anonymously, and it is the problem itself which attracts me." Never could the temptation of jumping to conclusions beat him - "It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgment." A fair acceptance of he too being a mortal like us despite his far reaching abilities - "Slips are common to all mortals, and the greatest is he who can recognise and repair them." 
       Never the one to get carried away by emotions, Holmes does respect the emotions of others. "I have never loved, Watson, but if I did and if the woman I loved had met such an end, I might act even as our lawless lion-hunter has done. Who knows?" Though in a handful of cases he lets go of the one who commits a crime when the circumstances make the crime justifiable, he is not the one to expressly voice his opinions on their acts. "It was my duty to bring the facts to light, and there I must leave it. As to the morality or decency of your conduct, it is not for me to express an opinion." 
         Holmes does seem arrogant. He is at times a bit over confident, but what difference does exist there when you are dead sure of it?
"I followed you."
"I saw no one."
"That is what you may expect to see when I follow you."

       I too like Watson "had no idea that such individuals exist outside of stories." But I think I may be wrong because I don't see anyone and how I wish I am being followed!!

Nov 7, 2011

Happiness: Time, Wealth, Success??

Picture credit: http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=194871
          
 "But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?"
                                                     -  Albert Camus

         As a young boy, my definition of happiness was very simple - either I be allowed to read stories from 'Champak' or be allowed to watch 'Duck Tales' or 'Talespin'!!(the pre-cable network era in rural India. The now extinct 'DD Metro' was a savior back then.) I still enjoy them thoroughly and they do make me a lot happier. Then as I grew up, I was smitten by my first love - 'Poetry', to which I have stayed loyal all these years. And the affair has been getting intense as the days pass. Every time I encounter the lyrical beauty, we fly on a fulfilling journey of poetic ecstasy. From that retreat, I derive immense happiness. So, does this conclude that Happiness is a total personal perspective? Are not there any prerequisites and general prescriptions for Happiness?
        These questions did arise as I read through another of Camus' less appreciated work - 'A happy death'. It was his first novel, but the last to be published. It is said he was twenty when he wrote this. But it was published after a decade of his death, about forty years after being written. The work has been criticized by the learned as being inferior and a mere preparation for his magnum opus - 'The Stranger'. (In a lighter vein, maybe the critics were expecting to find the great 'Noble' philosopher Camus in the 20 year old 'rebel' lad;-)) Though rated inferior literally, to me, it appears philosophically as fascinating as 'The Stranger'.
         Well, leaving the critics, I shall come back to the question of happiness. To get perspectives on track, 'A happy death' tells the story of Patrice Mersault, a working man who fails to be happy while struggling to make ends meet with meaningless work occupying his time. He meets Roland Zagreus, a million dollar cripple who tells Mersault that "....there's a kind of spiritual snobbery in certain "superior beings" who think that money isn't necessary for happiness. Which is stupid, which is false, and to a certain degree cowardly... It takes time to be happy. A lot of time. Happiness, too, is a long patience. And in almost every case, we use up our lives making money, when we should be using our money to gain time...." Mersault later murders Zagreus, and takes all his wealth(a whooping 2 million!!), apparently with Zagreus' consent since his crippled state blocks his own happiness, and the rich Mersault begins his quest of happiness. He tries travel, that fails; he lives with three young women in "the House above the World," but that fails. Everybody is in the pursuit of happiness. Yet Mersault retreats to a solitary life. He marries a pleasant woman he does not love, buys a house in a village by the sea, and moves in. Mersault achieves a degree of happiness but this is short lived since he becomes ill and dies his "happy death."
            Fine, now is the question time. Money and time are prerequisites to achieve happiness? Was this Camus' conclusion? Or does he indicate a different conclusion at the climax? Money is indeed a necessity as long as we are part of the society. Its money that satisfies hunger, sustains life, and gets us a place of dignity. But how much of it will do? We are the wealthiest generation on earth, I suppose, considering our GDPs and the Financial Capital we generate. (Though the socio-economic inequlities are at their Zenith, I am talking in gross terms of the present global generation as a whole.) But are we living through the happiest phase on earth? I find it pertinent to quote Richard Layard, the British Economist, from his book 'Happiness: Lessons from a new Science' - "There is a paradox at the heart of our lives. Most people want income and strive for it. Yet as Western societies have got richer, their people have become no happier."
       The next ingredient - 'Time', but who on earth has time these days, except for the lazy loafing souls? Going by Zagreus' assertion, maybe in the fast paced world of ours, if anyone feels deprived of happiness its because they have robbed themselves of time. Again, there are counter arguments to this, as are for everything that exists. But how valid are these remarks? 
          The achievement of things that we value and our noteworthy accomplishments render us a sense of happiness. So another significant dimension of happiness is our perceived notion of success. Stories of success are pouring in every day. The opportunities offered in our globalized society have no parallel. More are our chances of striking gold in the pursuit of whatever we take up. Has all this contributed to achieve a better gross happiness index? Or are we burdened by the guilt of ascending to the throne on corpses of the less advantaged? 
         Looking from another angle, How original is our perception of Success? Prof.John McMurtry in his groundbreaking research work "Unequal Freedoms: The Global Market as an ethical system" sheds light on how perceptions of success are seldom our own. We are fed a value system which asserts we 'must' compete in the global marketplace and its a closed system of choice. He observes 'All people enact its prescriptions as presupposed norms of what they should do. All assume its value designations and value exclusions as given. They seek only to climb its ladder of available positions to achieve their deserved reward as their due. Lives are valued, or not valued, in terms of the system's differentials and measurements....' Is their space for happiness in this system? Forget it, does a concept called 'happiness' exist here or is it that we are being unconsciously fed notions of happiness too!? I don't know or maybe I don't understand.
         To find solace, I shall return back to Camus' Mersault as he, in the course of the novel, says - "You make the mistake of thinking you have to choose, that you have to do what you want, that there are conditions for happiness. What matters -- all that matter is -- is the will to happiness, a kind of enormous, ever-present consciousness. The rest women, art, success -- is nothing but excuses…." I put all the mess aside and think its time to heed to Buddha - "To be happy, rest like a tree". Is the tree happy? Ask not me, but the Gutama Buddha my friend. I only find it safe and convenient to assume so. My maxim for happiness is quite simple. I modify the phrase of Leo Tolstoy to describe it - "If you want to be happy, be; and never impede others freedom to be."

         "In a silence violated only by the silky sounds of the sky, the night lay like milk upon the world. Mersault walked along the cliff, sharing the night's deep concentration. Below him the sea whispered gently. It was covered with velvety moonlight, smooth and undulating, like the pelt of some animal. At this hour, Mersault's life seemed so remote to him, he felt so solitary and indifferent to everything and to himself as well, that it seemed to him he had at last attained what he was seeking, that the peace which filled him now was born of that patient self-abandonment he had pursued and achieved with the help of this warm world so willing to deny him without anger." 
                                                                 - Albert Camus('A Happy Death')